Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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