I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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