D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
even my farts smell like vagina
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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