Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
