on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
