I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
