are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
