nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
