I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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