it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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