Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
