It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
