my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
