i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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