i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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