I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
