Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
