She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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