you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
