how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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