new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
