Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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