woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
