mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
