if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I supernannyed him into submission
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
