that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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