Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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