i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
