He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
