if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
