After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish you could order shots online.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
