I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
