Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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