forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
