Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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