i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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