What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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