I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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