Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
