Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
