when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
