Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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