I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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