She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Randomize
