God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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