Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
