You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
