Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
