well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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