honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
