did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
