Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize