We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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