Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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