I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my being single is dangerous.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
