it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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