Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
