if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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