i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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